The Office of the Commissioner confirms that Lord John Marbury has been appointed Special Constitutional Envoy for North American Reunification Affairs.

The appointment follows a careful review of senior figures with experience in diplomacy, constitutional ambiguity, aristocratic interruption, and the ability to enter a room as though it had been waiting for them.

Lord Marbury’s first assignment will be to travel to New Hampshire for informal consultations with a retired former President, distinguished academic, Nobel Prize-winning economist, and long-standing admirer of properly drafted constitutions.

Officials declined to confirm whether the former President has been asked to support the proposed Twenty-Eighth Amendment, assist with constitutional language, or simply explain why so many people appear to have stopped reading entire clauses before arguing about them.

“One cannot reasonably expect every branch of a family to spend the next two hundred and fifty years apologising. It would become terribly repetitive.”

Sources close to the Office said the discussions were expected to be cordial, wide-ranging, and conducted with the minimum number of people saying “with all due respect” while clearly meaning the opposite.

The Commissioner is understood to value Lord Marbury’s particular gifts: an instinctive grasp of diplomatic theatre, a lifelong commitment to constitutional mischief, and a rare ability to make a minor procedural clarification feel like the Congress of Vienna.

Asked whether the retired former President had expressed a view on the reunification proposals, an official said only that he had “smiled in a manner which may or may not have constitutional significance”.

The former President is reported to have observed that constitutions should be read before being amended, preferably by those doing the amending.

When pressed on the proposed Twenty-Eighth Amendment, he is said to have paused, looked briefly towards the hills, and replied that he had retired from active politics but remained “interested in good constitutional writing”.

Lord Marbury’s office has requested that all briefing papers be supplied in hard copy, double-spaced, grammatically defensible, and not placed in a ring binder “unless the situation has become truly desperate”.

He has also asked that no one describe the mission as shuttle diplomacy unless an actual shuttle is provided.

The Office has denied reports that Lord Marbury has already drafted a personal letter to the retired former President beginning, “My dear boy, history has become confused again.”

Further updates will be issued once Lord Marbury has completed his consultations, mislaid his briefing pack, recovered it, annotated it in fountain pen, and declared the entire process “almost civilised”.