- Strait of Hormuz 'A Bridge too Far'
- Red Card sensation
- US Postal Service to become Charles III Post Office (C3PO)
- Indie Band Vampire Weekend proscribed for terrorism
- Captain Commonwealth joins MAGBA
- EU to join UK shock!
- Tender process announced for Rushmore redevelopment
- Lord John Marbury mercy dash
Contact
the Commissioner
and communications of moderate wit.
The Office of the Commissioner welcomes correspondence from friends, supporters, doubters, constitutional romantics, and those who have simply recognised that the world would be improved by more tea and fewer tantrums.
A note on the handling of communications
We are always pleased to receive constructive suggestions, elegant observations, and messages sufficiently amusing to brighten the administrative day. We are also willing, in a spirit of magnanimity, to consider polite disagreement, especially when written in full sentences.
If, however, your communication consists entirely of capital letters, revolutionary outrage, or the phrase ‘you can’t make us’, it may be redirected to our Department for Missing the Point.
What to send us
The Commissioner particularly welcomes:
- ideas for peaceful constitutional re-integration
- corrections to American spelling offered in a spirit of kindness
- suggestions for future ceremonial counties
- recommendations for suitable Lords, Ladies, and regional eccentrics
- reports of unauthorised microwaving of tea
- evidence of successful queue formation
- offers of diplomatic biscuits
- messages that begin ‘I know this is a joke, but…’
What not to send us
Please do not send threats, manifestos longer than ours, unsolicited military plans, or proposals involving actual colonialism. MAGBA is a peaceful, satirical, and almost entirely paperwork-based movement.
Complaints that the site is ‘not historically accurate’ will be read aloud in a funny voice and then filed carefully.
Offence policy
MAGBA apologises sincerely to anyone we may inadvertently have offended.
Those whom we intended to offend were selected with care and after due constitutional reflection, and should therefore regard themselves as honoured guests in the great democratic pageant of mockery.
Response expectations
The Commissioner will respond where appropriate.
Messages of exceptional wit may be preserved for the archive. Messages of exceptional fury may be preserved for morale.
Office of the Commissioner
Please write to Commissioner@Magba.org
In the meantime, all communications should be mentally addressed to:
The Commissioner
Office of the Provisional Government of Greater Britain
Somewhere between London and Washington DC
Pending the formal opening of the diplomatic postbag, supporters are encouraged to remain calm, remain witty, and practise queueing.
Write if you must.
We welcome messages that are thoughtful, funny, helpful, or gloriously eccentric. We regret unintended offence. We remain serenely untroubled by intended offence. And we continue, in hope and mild bewilderment, to build a better transatlantic future.